When I originally wrote this post, I had no idea how God would use it. As a result of it, I was asked to speak on a public Christian radio station. It was definitely out of my wheelhouse (I’m an introvert through and through). 😊 I was so nervous and scared but they walked me through it and it came out great! I think that as we go through life and are obedient to what He’s called us to do, we never know the results HE can do when WE obey. He can use our obedience far further than we can ever imagine, so I implore you, as you go through your life, always obey God no matter what He asks you to do. Even when it seems silly or crazy or far out of your comfort zone, obey. Never stop obeying Him because He has good plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11), much bigger than you can see right now. 🥰

I had a friend recently ask me how I keep an organized home with such a messy family. Organizing with a messy family is beyond frustrating, right?! I mean…

No one puts anything up (after what I just cleaned up today, seriously, they are all pigs! lol) and I’m an organized fiend. How do I maintain balance in my home? Sanity even! Although I’m far from perfect, these are the things that help me the most to have a tidy home…

7 Tips to Organizing with a Messy Family

Pick Your Battles

The first thing I would say is to chose your battles (Colossians 3:1-4).

Is it really THAT important your spouse put the cap back on the toothpaste (they make pumps you know. haha!) or that the dishes are done every single night? But when you find a can of molded food under someone’s bed, okay, now that’s a battle to fight for. Mold can lead to some serious health risks.

I always like to think in terms of Jesus coming…

So, if Jesus came tomorrow, would it matter if the toothpaste cap wasn’t on or the toilet seat lid was up?

If I had one week to live would I really care if the dishes were done every night?

But, I would be concerned of the molded food, because my kids could get hurt. It could lead to asthma, allergies, and respiratory problems. So, that would be a battle I would chose, for their best interest. And that is really the point. When you are living for someone else with their needs ahead of your own, then all the little petty stuff doesn’t really matter, does it?

This principle can be applied to everything in your life.

If your friend and you are having a disagreement, for example, is it really worth fighting over? Even if it’s the truth of Christ, we don’t always have to fight for it. We can’t control other people to believe what the Bible says and it’s not our job to go around forcing them to. 💯

Offer the gospel, offer the truth, but it’s really up to them if they want to accept it or not. That part isn’t our job….to believe FOR them. They answer to God, not to us. Our job is to go about our lives as witnesses to others as Biblical, God-fearing holy Christians striving to do our best for our wonderful Savior.

Choosing your battles will help you live a much more peaceful life! Romans 12:18.

Regarding Children

1) Teach them young

Applying Proverbs 22:6 to this area of our lives can help. Teach them early the way that you want them to go. The quicker you start teaching them how to clean and why it’s so important, the easier it is when they get older.

My kids have been doing little things since they were two. I’d have them fold washrags or bring me dishes from the table. The earlier you start, the better! You may want to implement a cleaning chore chart and stickers to make it more fun for them too! 🎉

2) Have clear consequences

If you don’t do this, then this will happen. If you do what I ask, you will be rewarded. After all, as a Christian, does not the Lord do that with us? Chastise His children when we fall off the wagon and go our own way, bless us when we are in full obedience to Him. Today, I just got done cleaning my daughter’s room, uh yeah, thus the inspiration for this post 😊.

Her room has been messy for a little while and I’ve asked her to clean it several times. She played, I think, more than cleaned because you still couldn’t see the floor, much less walk in there. It was so messy, you couldn’t tell the clean clothes from the dirty. I don’t know how she gets dressed every morning to be very honest. And just in case you think that boys are messier than girls, my daughter proves THAT theory wrong! 😆 She is, at least double as messy as my son has ever been.

Maybe there’s some system to the madness and I’m immune to it. It took me an hour and a half to clean her room. Some of her toys ended up in the trash, and everything was sorted, and cleaned to my standard. When she got home I expected her to be really upset with me and she asked about a few specific toys, but after a little while in her room for homework, she came out and said “THANK YOU. Thank you for cleaning my room.” Now, some mom’s might really be offended by that. But I wasn’t.

Related: 

• 12 Habits of People Who Have Organized Homes
• A Complete Guide to Organizing Everything You Have
• Bedroom Organization Tips
• How to Get Kids to REALLY Clean Their Room
• 7 Ways to Declutter Your Kids Room
• How to Organize Your Playroom

You see, I see it. That spark inside her that LIKES a clean room…and if cultivated, she will be a clean girl just like her momma. I told her that she was welcome. That I love her and I’m not trying to just be mean, but that God’s standard is that we clean up after ourselves. That we work hard (Proverbs 31:13b; Proverbs 31:17), are not lazy (Proverbs 31:27), or live like pigs.

That this standard is for our good, and that since He put me in charge to manage my home (Proverbs 31:27a), it was my job to enforce HIS rules. She can argue with a lot of people, she can argue with me, but when it’s right there, black and white in Scripture, it’s hard to argue with the God who created it all. 😊

3) If all else fails, do what my mother used to do

Take away toys, but do it in a godly fashion, with genuine love in your heart, so as not to provoke your children (Colossians 3:21).

When MY room was messy as a child, my mom would go in my room while I was in school and clean it. The difference is that she took away EVERYTHING that was on the floor! I mean, everything. Clothes, toys, anything that was on the floor I had to EARN it back! You can easily start out small. They pick up after themselves when you ask, give them something back.

If they are still not getting the hint, take away their better toys, the ones they love. Every child has SOMETHING they REALLY love. If they don’t have something they truly love, buy it for them with the purpose that you can train them in love.

For my daughter, that was an iPad. The reason she has one is because it’s really important to her. So, when she is in trouble, I can take it away and she gets the message loud and clear and it helps straighten up her behavior.

Every child is different.

My son responds better with conversations (talking things out in detail in a back-and-forth conversation, so he understands it), my daughter responds better with toys taken away. You have to find what is important to them to get the message across that keeping a clean home is important to God and to you. It’s as simple as that.

4) Slow and steady wins the race

They are not going to change overnight. It will take a long time, years sometimes. Be prepared to work with them in establishing new habits. Being a mom is not for sprinters. It’s a L-O-N-G race. Think 20k marathon. Consistent actions, consistent punishments/rewards will get you there….and prayer, lots of prayer for your children’s hearts. Because changing an action is easier than changing a heart, but the heart is ultimately what we want to sow to. 

Regarding Your Spouse

My husband was probably THE messiest person known to mankind, let me just say that upfront. He never cleans anything, never helps clean anything, never helps take care of the kids, it’s all me.

I came to Christ AFTER we were married. Some time after. And it was a constant daily struggle to maintain peace in our home because well…he’s on one side of eternity, and I’m on the other. And while God has given me such a care and concern for him, I know that I personally could not change him. It would have to be God.

So, not only did I live with a messy husband, but I had to endure the last several years (since giving my life to God), in a hostile situation where my husband deliberately made a mess and did things purposely that he knew would upset me and tried to cause me to stumble in my walk with the Lord.

With all that as a precursor…every marriage is different, and while you CAN encourage your spouse to be neater, you cannot try to control, manipulate, or change them. Changing them is a work of the Lord.

5) Think service

It’s a hard balance to be in, I get it.

Trust me, I get it!!

But, I also know that the Bible has a lot to say about our relationships with our spouses. Like…

• Putting them ahead of ourselves (Philippians 2:3-4)
• Doing things in this world as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23-24)
• Treating others how we want to be treated (Luke 6:31)
• How being quick to disagree/fight is like a leaky faucet dripping and it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than to live with someone like that (Proverbs 27:15-16; Proverbs 21:9)

Pretty strong words. 💯

But applied practically, you can expect to suffer for Christs’ name sake. You can expect to just clean up the mess, and know you’re doing it FOR and UNTO the Lord, NOT your husband. The rewards are in Heaven, my friend! Keep your focus on God, not the world!!! 💎

Related: How to Survive a Loveless Marriage

6) Be in prayer

Constantly and consistently pray that God will mold, shape, and change your spouse’s heart. If something is important to you, it should be important to your spouse, but like in my case, it was the exact opposite.

As a Christian woman, although under the authority of someone wicked, God is my supreme court and He will only allow what is to my benefit. When it is not to my best interest, God will change the situation, and as an update to my story, He has.

He provided a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13) and my husband left – at the time, devastating, but in the end, a great and glorious gift of the Lord! 🎁

And God has used his leaving for His good in so many ways, one of which, this blog was born. I never would have started it while being married to him. Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good, His mercy endures forever! ❤️

7) It’s not over yet: sanctification

Focus on your pitfalls.

Focusing on what you WANT: I want a clean home. I want my husband to help clean our home are your desires. Be sure that your desires line up with Scripture. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that it is a man’s job to clean the home.

In fact, just the opposite is true. Is is a woman’s responsibility (although a godly husband WILL help his wife in all things, one being helping to clean the home as that is a part of loving her – Ephesians 5:25).

But let me tell you, just in case you think a man’s job is easier than a woman’s, I can tell you from experience now being single for so long, that it is MUCH, much harder!

Simply put, focus on what the Lord has YOU to do, don’t focus on how someone else is not keeping YOUR standards. I say that in love, only because I was there myself.

I was so focused on HIS failures, that I didn’t take a look at my own. When I stopped caring how HE was sinning against the Lord, how he wasn’t a Christian, or a good husband, how he was trying to make me suffer purposely, and started focusing on my own sin and how I could be a better wife, mother, and Christian, despite whatever he was doing, my life drastically changed!

I started to grow by leaps and bounds in my Christian walk. I started to run!! 1 Corinthians 9:24; Philippians 3:12–14; Hebrews 12:1. And I’ve been running ever since! 💎