There is something to be said about being constantly encouraged.
One of the things I love most about my mom is that growing up, she used to always tell me how proud of me she was and how I could do anything I set my mind to.
How to Motivate Yourself When You Want to Give Up
It’s great when you have someone encouraging you all the time, but what about when you don’t?
My ex-husband wasn’t an encourager. In fact, he laughed when I failed and anytime I did succeed, it was his personal mission to knock me down.
Maybe you’re sitting there…feeling alone, maybe you are alone, and you want to give up. You want to throw in the towel and be done with it all.
I can completely relate, trust me. I can’t say there’s a part of me even as I write this, that doesn’t feel like that.
Why bother? Why try? And although I am better now, or I wouldn’t be writing this post, I have had to rely on my essential oils for depression even recently. I’ll be doing fine, then BAM, it hits you out of nowhere and it feels like your whole world is falling apart. I get it. And I hope that no one who’s reading this can understand or relate. I hope you all are doing perfectly great!
But, for those of you that aren’t, my heart goes out to you. I pray for all my readers every day. I pray that God will bring the one’s into my life that I can encourage and help. The ones that may not have anyone else in their life to encourage them.
For you, I answer the simple question,
I know I’m going to sound like you’re in some AA meeting, but…
1) Admitting something is wrong is always the first step
For me, when something bad is going on, I try to lie to myself. Deny it, like it’s not happening. Push it aside, sweep it under the rug, anything I can do to make myself believe that life is just fine.
But that’s not helpful.
We must admit that it is happening before we can truly accept it.
2) Use essential oils
All you have to do is put a drop on your wrist and breathe them in. It’s as simple as that.
Deep Blue and Melissa oils are the best for the deepest kind of pain, the kind of pain when you start thinking about giving it all up permanently.
Helichrysum is great for instilling thankfulness in me. Instead of saying, “It’s not fair,” it turns my attitude into all the things and reasons I DO have to be thankful. My family, my church, this blog, the fact that I am saved, and this isn’t all there is in life. I really do have a fantastic life. It is in actuality, BETTER than the one I had when I was married in a myriad of ways. What are the things you can be thankful for? Try to focus on those.
Another oil I like to use is Rosemary. It helps us transition and accept the hard things in life.
3) Pray and be in the Word
Although, I would always say that God is #1, at this point, He would be third on this list because if you kill yourself before you start reading your Bible, your dead! What’s the point then?
And the oils will immediately, and I mean immediately help.
Then, and only then, am I able to read the Bible with an OPEN heart to truly LISTEN to what it says. If I try to read my Bible before I’ve used my oils, I seem to have a disdain for it, why me Lord?
When I’m attacking God, I will not be listening or obeying what He says!
Completely saturate yourself with the Word of God. Night and day, all day long, listen to sermons. Force yourself to do it, even if you don’t want to. Often times, when you are in a rebellious mood, that is when we need: to be saturated in His love all the more.
4) Remind yourself how others fail
I’m not talking about some evil way to make yourself happy by seeing and knowing others suffer.
What I AM saying here is that somehow when you know someone else is suffering, you don’t feel so alone. You have the strength to move on, knowing that you’re not the ONLY ONE in the world who is going through what you’re going through…and the truth is, you’re not. While the exact circumstances may be unique, I have had a few other people tell me their husbands left and they ended up in a homeless shelter like I did. And those are just the ones reading my blog!
We can, in that way, find comfort that we are truly NOT alone.
And again, back to the oils, if you are feeling alone, Marjoram is what you will want. Just smelling it will help immensely with your feelings of aloneness! As a single mom who goes against the grain of society (not jumping into another relationship even 4 years after my divorce BY CHOICE), I sometimes have to take Marjoram and it always helps!
I heard a piece of news yesterday about Thomas Edison
He FAILED 10,000 times (!!!!) before he created the light bulb.
When asked about it, he simply said, I didn’t fail, I just found out 10,000 ways NOT to make a light bulb (paraphrased).
You see, everyone fails.
Many people see me as this highly successful, super strong woman, and while I may be that, I am also a failure.
I’ve had my fair share of failures. I fail more times than I’d like to remember. I’d love to be a better mother. I’d love to have all the time in the world to be there for my kids and nurture them. I’m not a very nurturing person. I can encourage and motivate like you wouldn’t believe but when little kid problems come up, I have this attitude like wow, just get over it, that’s a dumb thing to worry about. Like, try dealing with the real world for a minute.
And, you know, that is so sinful. It’s not nurturing, it’s harsh and mean. I constantly have to edit myself around my children and it is very, very rare that I say those things aloud to them, but it is my attitude, which is just as wrong!
If I could change one thing about me, it would be that. I would be a better mom. Sometimes I feel so scattered and all over the place trying to raise two kids on my own with no help. My ex-husband is 16 hours away and could care less about his kids, and I don’t have family to help. I literally do it all by myself and it’s hard. But even with all the excuses in the world, I know I can do better, and that is something I am working on.
You see, others fail all the time, just like you. Even the ones that appear super successful and like they have their life all together and things are perfect.
On the inside, they struggle, just like you.
5) Read Psalm 37
It is my favorite passage in the Bible. In it holds so much truth.
My favorite parts are that sin will not go unpunished. The wicked people, like my ex-husband, WILL be judged, he won’t get away with anything. He won’t be able to CONTINUE to openly MOCK God forever. It’s all in God’s hands. In a little while, I will look for him, and he will be no more. I will be on one side of eternity and he will be on another. I will never experience pain again. I will be with the Almighty God. Just thinking about that gives me goosebumps. I will SEE GOD!!!!
The other part I especially like is vs. 23, where God leads us. HE establishes our steps. I think of the story of Joseph. For a long time he was in jail for doing the right thing, and yet, God used it for good. God used Joseph as a testimony to others of His grace, mercy, and love.
People look at my life and they can see that same mercy and grace. God can use me much more now than He could before I went through that nightmare I went through. Because I truly know what it’s like to suffer greatly for something I did not cause. Although I am not perfect, I was a fantastic wife, and I hold no blame in him leaving to which, he will even admit.
And now…I can be an inspiration to many. If I had to choose to go through all this all over again, just so I could stand here and tell you that God’s got this, to encourage you to being whole-heartedly on fire for Him, then I would.
What about you? Can God use you for His glory? To show others His grace through you?
Listen…He can if you let Him. So, let Him.
It’s hard, I know. I get it. But on the other side waits something for you that is not for everyone. For, and get this, for those who suffer the most through no fault of their own here on Earth get more responsibility, are heirarched higher, and get more reward in Heaven. In all actuality, when you think about it, it’s an honor to suffer for Christ’s name. It means He is ranking you higher in Heaven!
