You’re having a tough day.
It seems like every little thing that can go wrong does, and everything is against you. The world is a constant barrage of insults and attacks. It feels like they all have a machine gun and you’re somehow the target.
You try to be positive, but it’s super difficult when it feels like the world is conspiring against you. Believe me, I know the feeling.
The truth is that we ALL feel like that from time to time and you have two choices to decide from: to give up and throw in the towel, sulking in your bed and crying over the things you cannot change OR to understand that you can get through ANYTHING with God on your side!!!
Don’t give up…I’m here today to encourage your heart. Here’s some tips for how to be more positive even when it feels like everything is against you.
How can I be more positive when it feels like everything is against me and my family?
By the end of your reading this post, I PROMISE YOU, you will feel better! Let’s get started with number 1…
1. Acknowledge your feelings
The first step to knowing how to be more positive and feeling better is to acknowledge how you feel. Yes…It’s okay to be upset, frustrated, or angry when things aren’t going your way. Don’t try to bottle up your emotions or pretend like everything is fine when it’s not, that’ll only make it worse later on!
You can do a brain dump and write all your feelings down on paper without paying attention to what it is you’re writing. Just get it out of you and put it down. Even if it doesn’t seem to make sense, but you’re feeling it anyway, write it down! Recognizing how you feel is the first step to working through your negative emotions and moving on to a more positive outlook.
After you do that, take the piece of paper you write all your feelings on to God. I know it sounds a little bit crazy, but He cares about our emotions! He cares about every aspect of our lives and when you’re having a bad day, He cares. You can take your thoughts, ideas, and feelings to the Lord and just vent to Him. Tell Him how you’re feeling (with respect, of course) but just admit how things are going. He ALREADY KNOWS how you’re feeling and what’s upsetting you, but He WANTS TO HELP!
He wants to be that best friend that you run to and just sob for hours with. He wants to be your ALL. And you can have peace in Him, knowing that even if you feel completely alone, there’s Someone there for you, listening to you, genuinely caring about you and your hurts, and more than that…He UNDERSTANDS!
Give Him all your hurt feelings, then tear up the piece of paper into a billion pieces and throw it into the trash, and then don’t take them back. Let Him wash over your soul with encouragement as you free yourself and shred that paper (that simple act will solidify your not letting those feelings take root into your heart in a more permanent way). Let Him be your biggest “cheerleader” and encourage you because He desires to help!
Then, read your Bible, listen to a sermon, wait for His response to comfort you. I promise you, if you listen, He WILL comfort you and speak to your soul because He cares!!!
2. Find the silver lining
When it feels like everything is against you, it can be hard to see the bright side of things. But try to focus on the good even in the midst of adversity. Maybe you didn’t get the promotion you were hoping for, but you’re still employed and have a roof over your head.
Or maybe you’re going through a tough breakup, but you’re now free to find someone who is truly right for you. Whatever the situation, try to find the silver lining and be grateful for the good things in your life.
If you’re having trouble doing that, take out a sheet of paper and write down ALL the things you’re grateful for. Force yourself to do this for 15 minutes. Even if you have trouble starting, or even if you can’t think of more than 5 things, if you sit there and force yourself to keep writing, keep thinking for 15 minutes, you will find more inside of you to be thankful for.
I’d also highly encourage you to keep a thankful journal. I know that in my own life, in the times where I’m NOT keeping one, I tend to get negative and focus on the bad or the things I can’t change, but when I’m consistently keeping my thankful journal (I do it every day along with my prayer journal), then I’m much happier and I see things from a different perspective.
That house that may need repairs to and I’m complaining about it, how I don’t have time to deal with this as a single mom, all the sudden, becomes a source of joy and I convict MYSELF of how I should be thankful I HAVE such an amazingly beautiful home TO take care of.
This goes for husbands too. Many women who are married, are constantly dripping with negativity and complaining about their husbands. It makes me so sad because if they only knew how bad I want to be married, how I’d give ANYTHING just to be able to HAVE SOMETHING to complain ABOUT, they wouldn’t take their husbands for granted like they do. If they really saw things from MY eyes.
But the truth is, we ALL do that for various things. I’m complaining about my house (inside my head) when I have so much and should not complain at all!
See how keeping a thankful journal can change our point of view very quickly?! And doing this every day helps because we don’t just want to write over and over every day, “I’m thankful for my house”. It gets redundant, so we start trying to think of NEW things. Each and every day, we are training ourselves to become more positive people.
To make it easier, you can download a couple freebie thankful printables, whichever style and design you like best below…
- 12 Things I’m Thankful For (focuses on the whole year)
- Prayers and Thankful Sheets (colorable; use daily)
3. Take action
One way to learn how to be more positive is to take action. Don’t just sit around and wait for things to get better – take action and make them better. If you’re unhappy with your job, start looking for a new one. If you’re in a toxic relationship, end it. If you’re struggling with your mental health, seek professional help.
Taking action will give you a sense of control and empowerment to make positive changes in your life. Even faith by itself, if not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:17).
Scared to take action? No one can do it except YOU! YOU control your life (not apart from God, but we all have decisions and choices. God didn’t create us to be robots). YOU get to decide what kind of life you want and every single day you make a choice to that life you want whether you realize it or not.
I learned this lesson very early on as a child. My mom had a friend, one of her best friends. She was always complaining about everything in her life, but I noticed that she never did anything about it. She never changed it, never took action.
By her lack OF action, she was investing more into a life she didn’t want and by her constant complaining, she was investing into her own unhappiness.
See, whether you are happy or not, IS a choice. We all go through bad stuff, all the time, but it’s how we REACT TO THAT BAD STUFF that determines our outlook on life and continuing in a pattern of happiness, will lend itself to joy, and continuing in a pattern of negativity will surely reap a harvest of bitterness.
Here’s a verse that describes it way better than I ever could:
“For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.” Galatians 6:8
We reap what we sow. It’s as simple as that.
Are you reaping happiness and joy or complaining and misery? It’s a question we ALL have to ask ourselves continually!
4. Lean on your support system
No one can go through life alone – we all need a little help from time to time. It is absolutely okay to need help. When you’re feeling down, lean on God, your family, and friends for support.
Talk to them about how you’re feeling and let them be there for you. They’ll help you get through this tough time and be there to celebrate your triumphs with you.
If you don’t currently have a support system, create one! Start reaching out to others; start making friends; be involved in your local church. You absolutely NEED this in your life. When you don’t have a good support system, it makes living life a lot more complicated.
The Bible tells us to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and be sorrowful with those in sorrow (Romans 12:15). We need to be having relationships with others, through the ebb and flow of life. It’s so vital.
5. Practice self-care
Please understand, that I do not mean “self-care” in the same way the world means self-care. They want us all to idolize ourselves and look out for number 1 (ourselves), which is completely backwards of Jesus’ teachings.
But when life gets tough, it’s important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally (and hopefully you ALREADY have a solid routine of taking care of your spirit and investing in God. If you don’t, make THAT #1).
Make sure you’re eating a healthy diet. The foods you eat affect your hormones and emotions! Did you know that drinking water flavorings upset your hormones and eating TV dinners makes you MORE hungry because of purposeful chemicals they put in it? Be aware of these things that can be triggering your emotions!
Getting enough sleep and exercising regularly is also really helpful. How can you really be positive when you have so much of a lack of sleep, you’re just barely making it through the day?!
I know that when I’m tired, I tend to scowl at my kids more. Or when my kids are not getting enough sleep, they are more cranky with me. It’s just how our bodies work, so getting enough sleep is important. Exercising is also just as important because when we exercise it releases endorphins, which is the chemical in our body that MAKES us happy! It’s also a great way to relieve stress and get out frustrations in a healthy and safe way.
You could also color. I do a lot of hand lettering and coloring because it relaxes me and helps me feel more at peace. I have a ton of coloring sheets in my shop (the Christian ones are free) and many hand lettering practice sheets here on the blog.
However you do it, doesn’t really matter, just so you’re doing what works for YOU.
These things will help you stay physically, spiritually, and mentally strong so you can better handle whatever life throws your way and learn how to be more positive.
Just be active and move around. Don’t sit still and dwell in this. That will get you no where fast.
Another thing, don’t be afraid to treat yourself every once in a while. Get a massage, buy yourself a new outfit, or do something else that makes you happy. Taking care of yourself will help you feel better and be more capable of dealing with difficult situations.
6. Focus on the present
When it feels like everything is against you, it’s easy to dwell on the past or worry about the future. But try to focus on the present moment and appreciate what you have right now. The past is in the past and you can’t change it, so there’s no use dwelling on it. And the future is uncertain, so there’s no use worrying about it (Matthew 6:34). Instead, focus on the present moment and be grateful for what you have.
Someone I used to know always said this particular phrase and it really rings true: We experience the past to understand the present and prepare for the future. You are at the cusp of something great, but God has to prepare your way first – and prepare you.
You can’t HAVE tomorrow’s blessings today. You have to be prepared. God has to prepare all things and we have to wait for that. That doesn’t mean you’ll never get them, it just means that His timing is perfect!
So, what can you do to speed up the process? While we can’t rush God (believe me, I’ve tried) we CAN learn what we need to learn in order to get there quicker. For example, if God is bringing you through a financial trial, maybe it is that you’re suffering financially and can’t make ends meet. The answer is not to go out and get a third job, although you may have to for a season, the answer is to learn whatever it is HE is trying to teach you, so that you can get out of the trial faster.
Lemme explain.
Instead of getting that third job, FIRST consider this: learn all you can about HOW to spend the money you ALREADY HAVE!!!!
Listen, the Bible is very clear about how OUR money is not REALLY OUR money. We are stewards (Matthew 25:14-30). The money belongs to Him and if we are being poor stewards, He will take it away from us, to get us to bow down to our knees in humble adoration to Him: the giver of all good things.
If you’re financially suffering, are you faithful with what He HAS given you? If you’re a poor steward of it, and you are a child of God, you can fully expect Him to chastise you in order to grow you and to get your attention (Hebrews 12:6).
Learn what you need to learn quickly so that you can get out of the trial as fast as you can!
PREVENT further UNNECESSARY trials by making sure you are 5,000% wholly submitted to Him and doing everything in your power to obey Him.
When He convicts you of a sin, QUICKLY repent to Him (and genuinely mean it). This will help avoid unnecessary trainings/teachings/trials in your life.
7. Remind yourself that this too shall pass
No matter how bad things seem, remind yourself that this is just a phase, a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) and it will eventually pass. Everything is temporary – the good and the bad. So even when it feels like everything is against you, know that this won’t last forever. Things will get better.
I remember laying there in the homeless shelter after my ex-husband abandoned me. I thought my whole life was over. It sure felt like it.
Everything seemed so FINAL. I lost all hope of ever getting past this.
How could I afford to get an apartment of my own?
How could I support myself?
I had been a stay-at-home-mom all of my kids lives. It seemed hopeless. And while, I could have gotten a job in banking again (what I did previous to having kids), how could I pay a babysitter to watch them while I worked? They weren’t in school yet and costs to watch them were expensive.
My whole world came crashing down in an instant and I had no options.
God, in His ever-loving grace and mercy, got me into my first apartment with NO MONEY DOWN!!! If you can believe that! Then, I started reselling to make money, something I could do WITH my kids and not have to pay babysitting fees.
Things started to work out, one step at a time, and God helped me through it. It was incredible to watch Him work.
And the same is true of you today. No matter what it is that you’re dealing with or struggling with, your problem is NOT bigger than GOD.
He alone CAN do ANYTHING. NOTHING is impossible for HIM (Luke 1:37). So while things may look bleak and hopeless, HE CAN solve what you’re struggling with in a way that you cannot see or know beforehand. His power is unlike anyone else’s. He alone is the one true living God.
8. Have faith
Have faith and hope, and know that God is in control of everything – even when it seems things are seemingly out of control. Perhaps God is really just straightening things out to prepare you for the next season of your life?!
Lean on God and your faith when things are tough – this will help you learn how to be more positive and let go of the negative. Trust that things will get better and let your ever faithful God guide you.
Let it all go and give it all to God. Just pray, “Okay God. I’m not going to dwell on this anymore. It’s making me sick. I am handing it ALL over to you. Every single thing. Every worry, every doubt. every fear, and all the unknowns. Do with me what You will. Let it be to glorify You. I am no longer the master of this misery.”
9. Help others
One of the best ways to feel better when you’re struggling is to help others who are also struggling. When you see someone else going through a tough time, offer your support.
Helping others will make you feel good and remind you that you’re not alone in this. It will also remind you of things that you may not be seeing, in your own life, and change your outlook.
For example, maybe you’re struggling with finances so you help someone else with THEIR finances, then as you’re helping them, you realize a couple truths that you know YOU should be following but forgot and so when you implement them again, things get better.
You start seeing things that you didn’t see before, or that you had forgotten and it helps YOU also.
While solely getting something out of it should never be our motivation to help others, we CAN understand that this is a byproduct of serving others. When I serve others, I get way more joy out of it than I ever expected. I’m truly making a difference in their lives and I’m growing in my own knowledge and understanding also…IN ORDER THAT I can teach more people about more things. This pleases God and makes ME happy!
10. Continue to pray
Of all these tips, prayer is the biggest one. Be sure you’re still praying and growing your relationship with God. Even when things are tough. Praise Him in the storm and praise Him in the good.
Not only pray but listen to God and what He says to you. Oftentimes, we get so caught up in our own lives and problems that we forget to listen to God. But He is always speaking to us, through His Word and through godly people around us. Be still and listen to what He has to say. He will guide you through this tough time.
No one said life was easy but it can sure be beautiful when it is, right? By following these tips, you can learn how to be more positive even when it feels like everything is against you. Remember – this too shall pass. Things will get better and you will come out of this situation stronger and more resilient than before.
