“You mentioned that men need sex daily. With taking care of kids all day, cleaning the home, and all my other responsibilities, it’s really hard to set aside time to be intimate in a loving way, without it just being a duty or chore. I want to please my husband, but I’m just exhausted. Do you have any advice for this?”
First, I applaud your effort to want to please your husband. That’s great. I think that it’s hard for moms especially. All day, you’re running around in “mom” mode and then getting into “wife” mode, that transition takes a couple hours. Going from wiping snotty noses and picking up toys to wanting to be romantic. It’s a shift in the mind for sure.
And you want to be fully present with him, not just going through the motions. Your husband reads you loving him based on if you want to be intimate with him. He wants you to want him real bad. When you do, it pleases him because it makes his ego feel good and men need that. It makes them feel wanted, loved, and desired.
The best thing I could say is to schedule time to be romantic with each other every day. That means saying no to several other things so that you can HAVE that time. It means closing out loose ends and stop being so busy. Maybe putting the kids down an hour earlier can be a good idea. Tell them they don’t have to go to sleep, but they need to lay in bed quietly every night before bed.
Taking your kids to a family member’s house on Saturday so you have all day with him to spend together, could be another example.
Each couple is different and you’ll have to do what works for you, but you’ll want to consistently create time for each other on a regular basis. Your marriage is the most important relationship you have outside of your heavenly Father. More important than your kids. Obviously, you need to meet your kids needs, but your husband’s needs come before theirs. You need to meet both.
You’ll find a way. Just make it a priority and pray a lot about how you guys can come together and spend more time together. As you both prioritize each other and your marriage, you’ll see the fruit of it and it’ll make you want to spend all the more time together. ❤️
