It’s that time of year again…Back to School. During this season, mom’s are dealing with so many emotions, checklists, and while you will see tons of tips and articles online of what your Kindergartener should know when going to school, I think that it’s probably even more vitally important what mom’s should know.
I remember the first time I sent my son to school as a Kindergartener. I cried….like a buffoon I cried. It was so hard. I do not enjoy sending my kids to school at all. If I had my way, they’d continue to be homeschooled, but, due to the divorce, they have to be in school. It’s so hard letting go of your little ones. Will they be okay? What will you do all day? How will they adjust? What if they get hurt? Bullied? Picked on?
Still to this day, my son asks to be home with me. I hate it and there’s nothing I can do. I tell him that we need to be strong, that God will protect us, and that I will never leave him. I think that because their dad has completely abandoned them, he is scared I will leave him too. So, for us, in our home, this is a hard time of the year. Not so for most and there are some great things that I have learned since last year (he is now a proud 1st grader 🙂 )
What Mom’s of New Kindergarteners Should Know
1. Keep Reading to Your Child
Just because your child is heading to Kindergarten doesn’t mean you should stop reading to them. I know that not all children enjoy being read to, so it’s important to keep reading as much as they will let you. It is a great bonding experience activity holding them in your arms for both you and your child, as well as effective teaching methods on how to read, letters, and sounds.
2. Acceptance Time
Some of you parents are so excited to let your little caterpillar turn into a Kindergarten butterfly, but many of you are also holding on tight. One of the best things you can do right now is accept that you’re “not so little one” is turning into a student. He or she is getting older and with age, it is a great time of learning to let go in very small and safe experiences.
You know, it’s funny but, being a SAHM all of my kids’ lives, I’ve been able to be there for every single moment of their lives. One of the funniest ones where I had to learn to let go a little bit was letting my son use the BOYS bathroom at church. No longer could I take my 5-year-old son into the women’s bathroom. He held his eyes shut, just so you know! lol. But, it was hard for me. After several weeks of that, I stood outside the door at the store. I let my kids use the restrooms each to separate bathrooms. It’s a work in progress letting them go. It’s not easy, I admit, but at some point, we have to. Such is life, and they are growing up.
3. Make Things Simple
Start putting together a routine for you and your child now. Consider having the whole family do a routine. For example: after school—change clothes, eat snack, do homework, have fun, spend time together, hold and love on your child. Things will go smoother when each person in the family knows what to expect.
One of the things that I remember right after school with both my kids when they first went to all day school was that they were so tired. They’d get home and just crash. Their brains can’t handle it and so for us, the schedule was: after school-eat snack, rest for at least 30 mins to an hour (especially the first few months), then the rest of the schedule. It gave them time to unwind. That’s not always possible with every mom, so when they get home, just let them rest as much as you can. For the first few months, don’t schedule soccer practice or ballet or anything like that. Let them adjust first. That tip alone will save your life during the transition, trust me! Every teacher I ever talked to, said the exact same thing.
4. Keep Pictures Around
If you are anything like most parents, you find it hard to believe that your child is already old enough to go to Kindergarten. It might help you to keep pictures of your “baby” around the house. This is a gentle reminder of where they’ve been and where they are headed. Likewise, a good idea would be to allow your child to take a picture of you to school. This is extra helpful in a broken home. I’m also a big fan of “I love you” notes in their lunch boxes.
5. Get Some Support
If you think it’s going to be easy to not cry when you send your child off for the first time, you may be wrong. You already know my story, but what you don’t know is that I PROMISED myself I wouldn’t cry. I didn’t even think it was a big deal until it happened. Then, forget it. It was like in the hospital and I swore I wouldn’t use the epidermal, but when the time came, I was yelling, give it to me quick!!!! Get the man on the phone, get him down here, I gotta have it. I’m gonna die! True story! lol. By the way, it took that man 30 mins to get there to give me that epidural!!!! lol.
It’s okay to get a support system going just “in case” you need it. Start a group on Facebook for other Kindergarten moms in your circle, have your best friends’ number on speed dial. Talk about your feelings and what’s really going on. Don’t hide it, don’t run away. You can’t feel better until you’re honest about it.
6. Your Child Will Be Okay
The worst case scenarios are probably running through your mind right now. lol. Let all of those bad thoughts roll to the back of your mind. Make sure you never allow your worries to be known to your Kindergartner, trust me, they’ll have enough to worry about on their own. Remain calm and be strong. You can do this! Any fears you let them know that YOU have will become their fears too.
7. Let Them Be Kids
Just because your Kindergartner is “growing up” doesn’t mean they still can’t be a kid. Let them do things they’ve always loved to do, even before starting school. They will still need to cuddle you and have you make their favorite treats for them. My 8-year-old STILL LOVES to be held. I could hold her for hours and it’s not enough. Just love on them all the more when they get home (AFTER they’ve had time by themselves to rest).
8. Get Involved
Consider getting involved in your child’s classroom. If you think you are going to miss your child while they are away, try to volunteer in the classroom a few days a month. This will make you feel better about where you are sending your child. The first school my daughter went to, ended up not being very good. The teacher was mean and it was more of a glorified babysitter than any REAL teaching going on. They’d watch movies, ones I didn’t think were appropriate at school, and it honestly wasn’t what I knew a school should be.
I want my kids to learn.
I was upset and right as I was going to pull them out, we moved. The new school is amazing! They are learning a lot. My son can already read sight words and after a few seconds, most words you put in front of him. My favorite was “think.” I thought that one would trip him up but he got it. Obviously, I teach them at home, but not as much as I’d like. As a single mom, I just haven’t got all the time in the world to invest like I’d love to, so a great school is even more important for us.
9. Talk About School With Your Child
Make sure you are as involved in your child’s school day as possible. When they come home, talk about their day at school. Let them talk as long as they need to. You want that relationship with your child that allows them to talk to you about everything, good or bad. Make sure they feel comfortable talking to you about ALL issues. They’ll talk to you about issues based on your reaction during these early years.
10. Be Positive
There are going to be things that come up, but it’s how you handle them that’s important. I know it’s easy to just assume a teacher is out to get your kid, but try to stay neutral. Keep in mind that we are raising sinners, just like us. When we tell a story to someone else, do we make it sound like everything is all our fault and the other person is blameless, or do we sometimes act innocent while they are to blame. I know this comes up in my life with my kids a lot. “She hit me.” “Okay, WHY did she hit you?” is usually my first response. It used to be very different. I’d automatically go on the defensive. You hurt my son, how dare you. lol. Now, I know, usually there is blame across the board.
11. Give a Gift
One of the great things about having a girl is that we get to do girly things. We get to play mommy, and dress up, and put on pretend makeup, take spa days, do our nails, and so much more. I suppose it could work with a boy as well, but wouldn’t it be nice for you AND your daughter to have a friendship bracelet for the first day of school? You could pick it out together on a mommy/daughter date and make it really special.
Even a necklace would work. Something where it has two halves, or it’s the same piece of jewelry as yours. Then when you miss your daughter, you could look at the bracelet and pray for her. In the same way, when she misses you, she could look at the bracelet and remember that it’s just for a few hours and she’ll be home soon, your bracelet and arms wrapped around her.
12. Enjoy
I know you’ve enjoyed the past 5 years with your child, it’s time to enjoy this new phase of your and their life as well. Your child is going to thrive in Kindergarten, and you are going to be his or her biggest supporter. Just keep supporting your little one, letting them know you’re always there for them. That’s all you can really do, so do it to the best of your ability.
13. Like Them More
I loved my babies as babies. Each one had their unique personality and I felt so connected to them. They depended on me and needed me. It was the strongest bond ever. I don’t know about you, but every day as my kids get older, I not only love them, but there’s an added layer of liking them. Like, I LIKE them. They are fun to be around.
We just got a Wii U and they are a blast to play with. My son swings the remote and his body and gets all sweaty. Seriously, he is really trying. My daughter and I play together, help each other, it’s fun. The more time I spend with them as they are older, the more I enjoy spending time with them, not as a baby or a child, but as a little person. They have their own thoughts and ideas.
My daughter is incredibly creative. She has some really fun crafts planned for the blog that I hope you like. She is incredibly talented to watch grow. My son wants to be a Pastor. He’s wanted to be a Pastor since he was 3. At first I thought it was a phase, until he came to ME wanting to give his life to God out of the blue. Like, I know it’s God. God is there, inside him.
Each one of my kids is special and they have been since birth, and I may not feel the same when they are teenagers (LOL) but I really enjoy getting to know them. We have fun together just hanging out. We love to cook together, just fun things like that, moments and memories that we are building. Don’t for one second think that because your children are growing up, they don’t need you. Never stop being their friend. Parent first, of course, but my kids are also my best friends. Especially my son. He and I are the only ones in our family who are saved. It was just me until he gave his life to God. Finally I don’t feel all alone in my Christian walk.
Is there anything you have done to prepare yourself or your child for Kindergarten? Is there anything I missed?
