Take it from me, it definitely gets to the point of loneliness when your husband has been gone for a long time.
Maybe your husband is in the military or maybe he travels for his job. Maybe you are separated and you’re feeling the sting of it.
I get it! I’ve been there.
My husband used to travel for work and would be gone for weeks and weeks at a time. It really stunk and I begged him to give it all up (I never wanted him to take that job in the first place), but he cared more about money than anything and so he continued.
It was hard to deal with. Life is so DIFFERENT being on your own than being married and having someone. Everything is different and it can get lonely BUT….it IS doable and you can get through it!
The first thing you need is God. You need God with you every second of every day. We need to find our identity, our hope, and our joy in GOD and God alone, not in man, because then we know we are NEVER truly alone! ❤️
God is close to the lonely and broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18). He will be your bridegroom and He will give you comfort (Isaiah 41:10).
So, let’s start there!!! Here’s what to do when your husband is never home and you feel alone.
My Husband Is Never Home, I Feel So Alone
At first, you notice the empty side of the bed. You noticed the one cup of coffee instead of the two cups. His toothbrush is gone. The toilet seat isn’t up. 😆 Come on, you know I’m right. 😝
Those things can hit you fast and all at once. You’re not sure how to process it.
You can still smell his body wash in the shower lingering in the air. You might even use it from time to time just to feel closer to him.
Your pillow no longer does it for you and you trade it for his pillow. Which, coupled with his scent, puts you right to sleep and eases just a little bit of that ache inside you. 🥰
But the more time progresses, the more that ache grows into almost a tangible thing.
Maybe you’re not completely alone at home; maybe you have kids there too. Animals. Pets.
But when your husband is never home, it’s you who would run things and makes sure life goes on now. All the sudden you have more responsibilities. Things that he used to do and take care of, now suddenly are on your plate so you start to run faster to keep up. It can be overwhelming.
And yes, it can be tough when you’re crumbling inside as you’re washing the dishes, folding clothes, and in charge of the entire home, family, and all of life. Trying to put on this facade for your kids or anyone else living in the home that things are okay. You don’t want you kids to see you breakdown. You don’t want to upset THEM.
You might even get aggravated with yourself for feeling this way. Then that turns to anger – at yourself or even at your husband.
Fortunately, there are a few things you can do about how alone you feel when your husband is never home.
1. Turn to Christ
God is ALWAYS the answer, for everything in all of life. He’s never the wrong or inapplicable answer. It’s always Him. First in that He comforts you, puts you back together, and showers you with LOVE and adoration. Man, He loves you!!!!! 💯 He’s always there for you, in the good and in the bad.
Sometimes, when we are struggling with stuff in life, our friends will start to leave, start to run for the hills, or start to back off in the friendships. Isn’t it great that God NEVER does that?! He never leaves us! He cares about us and more than that, He understands what we are going through!
Drink Living Water. Spend a lot more time with Him. Invest in Him. Love on Him and pray.
Pray if God can allow your husband to be home with you. It may be that in your situation (in some cases), God can provide a job for your husband to be closer to home. If he’s not in the military or something like that, God can get your husband closer to home if that’s what He wills. Pray about it. Tell God how it’s utterly destroying you and you’re hurting and you just want to be with your husband. Talk to Him, He understands your heart. ❤️
Maybe you can get a side job. Maybe you can make income on the side, as a Proverbs 31 wife, so that he can be home more? Pray about it. Pray for opportunities, pray for God to lead you. You may think making money from home is difficult, but it’s really not. It’s something I’ve been doing for 24 years now. There’s PLENTY of opportunity everywhere. You just have to find what you’re good at and what you enjoy!
Here’s a couple posts that God can use to help lead you in the right direction:
2. Get more involved with others
Go to church more, get your kids more involved in church, join a Bible study, go on Wednesday night services, serve in VBS, nursery, or in Sunday School at church. Get more involved!
Some church groups can be for women or for moms, but then there are other church groups for things like sewing classes or painting class. You might also find groups or committees in charge of certain things, like the upcoming donations auction, putting on the spring play, or hosting a church yard sale (those are SUPER fun to be involved in!)
Maybe you can start up a food pantry at your church or maybe you can collect things to help those in need. Things like food, pantry staples, clothing, furniture, etc.
There’s so many ways to serve and be involved and as you serve, it lights up your heart and brings you joy!! 🎉
And, of course, there are more groups around you than in your church. Look for things in your local area. Check out Facebook and see what groups they have for your subdivision too. More recently, more subdivisions are doing that and you can get more involved with your neighbors and they have a lot of outings and fun stuff going on!
Call up a friend or family member and ask them if there are any groups they know of or are a part of that you can check out too (and invest in those friendships more!)
Check your local chamber of commerce or conventions and visitor’s bureau to see some of the happenings going on in your town. Facebook Events usually show tons of things going on locally, so check those out as well and see if you can join any groups that peak your interest.
Maybe you like to sew, so you find a sewing club. Or you like to read, so you join a book club. Whatever it may be, join a group that have people with similar passions as you and are Christ-like.
Another great option if you homeschool is to join a local co-op. You can usually find Facebook groups that are for local homeschooling moms too that have monthly meetings and get-togethers for your kids.
3. Pick up a new hobby or learn a new skill
I have a long list of things I want to learn, whether it be a new skill or just simply knowledge. You can always find me learning something because I LOVE to learn! I encourage you to do the same!
Dust off your long-lost piano and start playing it again. Get a piano teacher to start teaching you the harder chords. Or, if you’ve never played before but always wanted to, this is the perfect opportunity.
I mentioned sewing or reading. If sewing or crocheting is something you always wanted to do but never did, you can pick these up. And you don’t have to go out to meet them, there are online courses and videos you can do to learn how to do these things.
In fact, you can learn just about anything online these days!
One of my ALL-TIME FAVORITE hobbies is to create printables! You can learn how to create them yourself also online through one of my courses (How to Create Printables in Illustrator or How to Create Printables in Photoshop Elements). Both are REALLY fun classes and it’s something you can turn into a money-making business!!! BOOYAH!
4. Give to the needy
It is always a good thing to give to the needy. A benefit of giving to the needy is not only that you’ll be helping someone that needs it, but it’s also because it’s just simply a good thing to do if we are doing it with the right servant’s heart and love for Christ.
God calls us to help the less fortunate than we are. He wants us to serve others and spread the gospel.
Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed. – Proverbs 19:17
I’m sure you can discover different organizations, either locally or online, that you can join to help the needy around you. For example, there are Meals On Wheels, Habitat for Humanity, local homeless shelters, local soup kitchens, organizations for the youth nearby, and I’m sure they’ll find plenty of others like these in your area. Here’s a list of how this ministry helps others and some of the businesses we support. This is a great list to get started with!
There are opportunities online too. I have an open call for a volunteer position and the application is here (it’s always open). This blog is a ministry and I need help serving the world for Christ. I’d love to have your help in whatever way you can serve. Maybe you’re a great writer. Maybe you’re a proofer. Maybe you love to create printables and want to help out in that way. Just lemme know what kind of gifts you have and where you want to serve in the application.
When you serve or help the less fortunate, it gives you a sort of uplifting pat on the back because you know what you’re doing is good and you know that God is proud of you for it. This simply helps you feel good inside, like you are needed, like what you do matters. What you do will matters so much to them, in ways you’ll never know!
To add to this, you can get your kids involved in it as well. Teach them the values and morals of going out of your way to help the needy. Teach them these special types of characteristics that will only serve to help instill values that they can carry with them all the days of their life. There’s something about giving to the needy that can teach you valuable lessons that you can’t get anywhere else.
When you give to those less fortunate, God blesses you from it. You will start to feel less alone and do more positive things with your time.
Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor. – Proverbs 22:9
All this is great, but it is all useless if you aren’t praying as you go. Whether your husband has to be away from home for work or whether he simply leaves all the time, you must pray about your situation and give it to God. You feel lonely right now, yes, but know that you are not alone and you can spend useful time doing things that matter.
One more thing to consider…when your husband IS home, do you treasure those moments? Are you serving him, loving on him, showing him that you WANT him around, that you respect and adore him? Or are you so angry at him, you’re treating him like trash as a way of “punishing him” for not being around?
We must be very careful as to the clues we are sending our husbands because they can oftentimes, read us like a book.
They know when we’re mad or holding onto bitterness, anger, or hurt. They know when we don’t want them around or are just going through the motions. So be sure we all are always treating our husbands well when they are home because they don’t have to be!
A husband doesn’t HAVE TO stay. He’s not forced. He can leave at any time he decides to. Make him feel treasured when he’s there. Love on him and make him feel special. Go out of your way to really treat him well and be kind to him. Don’t hold in any resentment, but forgive him for anything he’s done, through the power of Christ.
