🎉 Happy Sabbath! Remember to check out Alistair Begg’s Livestream this morning in addition to your regular Sunday activities. It’s only online for 24 hours. You know I’ll be watching! 🙏
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Our goal as a woman is to line our lives up with the Bible and there’s an AMAZING passage in Proverbs that helps us to know exactly what to do. It gives us a very good picture of how to pattern our lives and how to be more godly.
Proverbs 31.
The goal of this post is to do a deep-dive into the life of the Proverbs 31 woman and modernize those fundamental truths so that we can apply those same foundational principles she had back then, to our day and age today and ultimately, to our own lives.
We want to glean out as much information as humanly possible in order to be like her as much as possible, since we know this Proverbs 31 woman is pleasing to the Lord and that is our ultimate goal: to please the Lord.
EVERY woman, whether married or not, whether you have kids or not, should apply as much of this to our life as possible.
For example, I am currently not married, however, I can still learn a lot and PREPARE to be the wife that would please both God and my husband in the future, so that should I be able to be married one day (Lord willing), I’ll already be prepared and ready and a godly wife right off the bat! 😊
Plus honestly, being a more godly woman is going to attract a more godly man, so I will be able to score 🎉 a more godly man, which is ultimately what we want, right?! To be married to a super godly guy.
This Proverbs 31 spiritual growth checklist will get us there! Let’s get started!!
Proverbs 31 Spiritual Growth Checklist
Today, we’ll be studying out Proverbs 31:10-31…
It starts off very bluntly saying that this woman is SUPER hard to find.
The problem is that most women (and men) think they already are awesome. That they have everything down, they’re doing good, but when we compare ourselves to GOD, and not other human beings who are depraved like us, we realize we have a LONG way to go. That path is a lifelong pursuit called sanctification.
It’s my personal goal to get there as fast as humanly possible. Make no mistake, I want to be perfect. I never will be this side of heaven, but each and every single thing I do wrong, I’m constantly adapting, changing, pivoting, and repenting to get better.
As a believer, it’s our desire to want to be like Jesus and we take that call very seriously, each and every day! 🥰
It’s very rare to find a woman who is of excellent reputation like this and single men, take note: you absolutely should be looking for a woman like this!
Verse 10: “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”
She’s hard to find AND she’s very valuable. 💎 More precious and valuable than jewels! Think: diamonds ladies!!! That $14,000 diamond wedding ring…yeah, she’s better than that!
With that said, becoming the Proverbs 31 woman is not too hard for us to do. We must learn to take one verse at a time and work on the ones we need to, one at a time. Get it down? Good. Then work on the next, and so on down the list.
Take your time. It may take a couple YEARS if you’re just starting out (it did for me) and that’s okay. In the end, you’ll be very much like the Proverbs 31 wife and you’ll be so proud of yourself, you will please God, and your husband will be all the more happy as well! ❤️
1) Do you spend money wisely?
Proverbs 31:11a tells us that her husband trusts in her.
This can be taken in a myriad of ways and so you’ll want to get good at each and every way.
Does he trust you?
Does he trust you not to…
- Overspend money
- Talk bad about him behind his back
- Control him
- Pit family against family
- Gossip
- Be lazy all day while he is working hard (or make it LOOK LIKE you’ve worked hard all day, when you really just shine the surface)
- Withhold sex from him
- Be forgetful and reap disappointments, time lost, late fees
- Be greedy and not serve others outside of your family
Does he trust you in all areas of your marriage and in your life?
Do you spend money wisely? Can he trust that you won’t bounce or overspend, that you’ll be a good steward of the money God gives to you both?
I want to be super clear here, that doesn’t mean you have to buy Walmart junk or sacrifice the things that are important to you. Some things will be important to you and that’s okay. Most things won’t be and you can save in those areas. If you are saving in literally EVERY area except a couple places, it’s okay.
For example, I love to save money and I save on everything. But I also believe you can have brand names at the same or less money than the cheap-o versions.
My home, before I gave up everything for God, wasn’t filled with things that LOOKED good, it was filled with the legit high-quality stuff. Z Gallerie, Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn, CB2. The expensive stuff. But I never paid full price. I found a lot of it gently used (or new) on sites like Facebook Marketplace or on the stuff I had to buy new directly from the companies, I used discounts, Black Friday sales, points, etc. Proving that you can have super nice stuff for very little.
This couch set for example:
On the Z Gallerie Website, the super fancy couch alone is $2,249.
Each of the chairs are $1,499 each for that color and shipping/delivery is $500 for all three pieces. You’re literally looking at $5,747 (plus tax of $344 in the state I was in). $6,091 grand total out of the door for just those three pieces.
Is that how much I paid for them? HECK NO! I got the couch and both chairs for a grand total of $200!! The white pillow on the right in that picture, I got free.
You can HAVE nice stuff without paying a fortune! You just have to learn to be smart and shop around with ALL your purchases!
Are there times you want to splurge? Of course. My hair is one of them. I have an AH-MAZING hair stylist back in Idaho. Now that I live in Oregon, I fully intend to visit Idaho 2 times a year to have HER cut my hair. I cut my own hair in between cuts and then she cuts it as the main part of it.
I’m still saving money (by cutting my own hair between visits and using my split-ender, which I got on sale for $40), but I refuse to (at least at this point), go to anyone else. She’s THE best on the planet and very reasonable ($55 for a cut). I dye my own hair (this is the exact one I use and love it) instead of having it professionally done, which saves me even more.
In fact, this last time I went to her, she cut my hair around 8-10 inches off!!! 😮 I have a TON of new growth coming in and while I’ve had super long hair (down to my butt) for a good 10 years, I knew it had to be cut in order to look good.
It’s LITERALLY killing me not having my long hair (I’ll grow it back, don’t choo worry!!) 😆 but for now, it needs to be shorter while the new growth all catches up, in order to look good. She did an amazing job and the haircut looks great.
There are some things in your life you only trust with a certain person. Maybe that’s haircuts for you, maybe it’s something else. Whatever it is, it’s okay to splurge in some areas, but in the majority of the areas, you’re diligently working to save money everywhere you can. Me buying my own hair dye saves me a ton of money as does cutting it myself in between salon visits.
Everything you do, everywhere you go, you need to get in the habit of getting exactly what you want (not settling with junk brands) but getting everything at incredibly cheap prices or for free!
2) Are you destroying everything he’s working hard for?
Proverbs 31:11b – the things he’s doing need to be successfully working.
If he’s going off to work every day and making money while you are staying home with the kids, you get bored, you shop on Amazon and buy too much, all that work that he’s going off to do, you’re destroying.
It’s not that you can’t buy something on Amazon, it’s that you both need to be on the same page, in unity, having the same goals.
In order to be on the same page with goals, you need to know what his goals are! What are they? 3 month goals, 1 year goals, 3 year goals, go.
If you can’t answer those right this second, you have work to do. You need to talk to him about what your goals are for your family, for your lives, for your spiritual walks, for everything.
Support him in his goals and let him support you in yours. Work together to accomplish whatever it is you want to accomplish. Be a goal-driven couple, TOGETHER.
Another way I’ve seen women harm their husbands is by stealing his heaven rewards. Maybe a husband wants to be generous toward a certain person or charity and the wife won’t let him. She makes him choose between her and the charity. It’s not either or. Just because he wants to help a charity or do something nice for someone else, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love YOU!!!
It means God has put it on his heart to do something and who are you to stand in between him and God’s will?! Is he not ordained by God to lead your family? Why do you not let him?
3) Are you always doing him good and putting him first?
Proverbs 31:12 tells us that we ALWAYS do him good, all the days of our life. So as long as we are around, we are to do our husbands good. How does this look though?
Doing your husband good is about thinking about his needs, his desires, his goals in life. It’s about trying your best to please him in all areas.
If he likes the dinner table set a certain way and you just can’t stand it set like that, it’s fine to set it your way, but maybe a few times a week, set it his way. Make the appropriate accommodations to set it how he likes it.
If he absolutely HATES taking the trash out and you don’t like to do it either, do it anyway, knowing that he hates it. It’s showing him love. Perhaps if your kids are older, they can take out the trash. 😊
Constantly doing little things each and every day that you know he likes is important. Every day you should think of at least one way you can please him; doing something he likes.
If you don’t know what things he likes or you’re stumped right now, you need to spend time getting to know him better, so that you know him inside and out, cultivating a godly marriage.
Maybe there’s 5 things you don’t really care about and one thing you do care about, do your own way for the one thing and the other 5 things, do his way. That way, you’re both getting things you want, but you’re still putting him first. Even if, worst case scenario it sways 4/3 in his favor, it’s still more things in his way than yours, so you’re still putting him and his desires first.
It’s definitely a learning curve and specific to each couple. What do you like to do? What does he like to do? What’s important to you? What’s important to him?
Making compromises and putting him first is a part of marriage and if you have a good marriage, he will likewise put YOU first as well, so your needs are being taken care of also. But do not take liberties in that. If he is NOT putting you first, it doesn’t let you out of your commitment to put him first. A good wife will put her husband first, whether he puts her first or not. And I know how hard that can be, I lived through it with my ex-husband, but it is also possible. And I was happy in that I knew I was acting biblically, putting him first even though he never cared about me.
Remember, marriage is not about YOU. Marriage is always about the other person. When I get married, it’ll be because I love a man so much that I want HIS life to be better. I want HIM to have a good life and I think that I can make that happen because I’m willing to strive my hardest every single day to accomplish that end.
Doing him good: do you seek to honor him, love him, respect him? Are you doing him good? Are you caring for his public reputation, his ministry in the Lord, his heaven rewards, his soul? Are you considering, when making a decision, what’s best for HIM?
It is not hard to think of ways to do good to your husband. You know what he likes and what he doesn’t. It’s really just about taking the time every day, to think about at least ONE thing you can do for him that day that would make him happy and being consistent in it over a lifetime.
4) Do you go the extra mile for your family?
What strikes me about Proverbs 31:13a is that it says she SEEKS.
If you really think about it, good things in life (in her case, wool and flax), don’t just magically appear on your doorstep. In our culture this would be things like better and healthier food (organic food). It could apply to clothing. The brand names, the good stuff, not the Walmart cheap-o break down in one wash type of stuff. We’re thinking the better things in life, the better quality things, she’s seeking them out.
She’s hunting them down, she’s trying to find them. If you shop smart, you can get brand name stuff for the same price, and in many cases cheaper, than the junk brands. But you have to seek it. You have to figure out how. One of my favorite deals sites is Slick Deals. You should check it out. Every day they tell you about really cool deals and a lot of it is name brand stuff.
When I had a Costco membership, I went there and wrote down the prices of absolutely everything my family bought. I wrote down the counts or how many was in the packages too. Even for toilet paper, I wrote down the sq. feet and all that! 😆
Then I compared all the other places in my town and online of where I could get each individual item.
I found that Costco was costing me WAY MORE MONEY in the long run, even with their coupons and NOT counting going in there and seeing something I just HAD to have and buying it.
Costco was costing me a small fortune! And if you’re rich, and you wanna splurge, go for it. But for me, every penny counts and I don’t want to waste it.
I found that places like Amazon, Target, and Fred Meyer have cheaper pricing. For example, for me, Target is the cheapest for zipper bags because I can use their brand bags and it’s the same quality as the fancier brands, thus saving me money. Plus, I can shop online, use my RedCard (which is free), save 5%, and get free shipping. Sometimes they even have free gift cards when you purchase certain items, adding more to your savings bundle!
And trust me, I’m a quality girl, so I know what’s good and what’s junk.
It takes a bit of work, but over time, you’ll figure things out and save your family a good $50-$100/month faster than you realize it. 💯
Seek out the good stuff at better prices than you’re getting now! Give your husband the quality life he deserves for working so hard. ❤️
5) Do you work hard?
Now, I know every woman on the planet, no matter HOW lazy she genuinely is, is going to say, “YEAH, I work HARD!” But, sadly, I tell you the truth, most all women are lazy compared to the Proverbs 31 woman and believe me, I used to be there too.
Before I gave my life to Christ, here was my scam…
My husband would go off to work all day, be working hard, and I’d sit online all day or watching TV. Just goofing off. I took care of the kids and then about an hour before he got off work, I hurried and did a quick wipe of everything to clean, made a quick dinner that seemed like it took hours (think: enchiladas. I mean, you put it all together in like 5 mins, throw it in the oven, super easy, right?!) and when he got home, everything LOOKED good, kids were taken care of, and I passed. I flew under the radar. It’s a lot more common than you think; SOOO many women do this.
You’re probably not that lazy.
You’re probably working hard on various things but the things you’re working on are NOT helpful. They don’t count for eternity. It’s wood, hay, and stubble. It’s nothing.
Yes, taking care of kids is great, keeping your home clean is great, but if you met Jesus this very day, I can guarantee you, He’s not going to ask you how you kept your house. 💯
He’s going to ask you what you did with your time, how you served others for His name, what you did to make a contribution to the WORLD, how you made your family better.
Every Christian woman should NOT ONLY take care of the kids, keep a clean home (genuinely), and care for her husband, but structure her life in a productive way that she’s also having some sort of ministry to help others.
In the Proverbs 31 woman, she had servants and maids to help her. She took care of those servants and maids too. Food, shelter, cared for their needs as well. Maybe that means you run your own business and you hire an assistant and you take care of your assistant’s needs (as much as humanly possible).
Maybe it means starting a Christian blog to teach other women what you know. Maybe it means starting a printables shop so you can make money. Maybe it means selling things on ebay, Facebook Marketplace, or making money somehow online. Maybe it means starting up a gifting group in your area.
There are a lot of different ways to do it, but you should have SOMETHING that is your OWN, that serves and helps the world somehow for Christ. Something that GOD would be proud of you for doing. Some sort of ministry. Maybe it’s helping at your kids school, as long as whatever it is, is geared toward CHRIST and FOR Christ, that’s fine. If it’s not geared toward Christ, while it can be a good thing (say serving on your school’s PTA, for example), if it’s not helping anyone for God, then you should, as a Christian, put your time focused on the things of God!
And you see this in the Proverbs 31 woman again in verses 13-22. She’s hustling guys, she’s working HARD. She’s seeking things from afar (maybe this means you can save money by shopping at a few different stores online instead of just one), buys a field and plants a vineyard (start a garden, provide free groceries for your household).
Her lamp doesn’t go out at night, meaning she’s working at night too, when everyone else is sleeping. As I’m writing this, where I live, everyone else is watching TV, goofing off, etc. and while that’s totally fine, I wasn’t put on earth to goof off. I’m writing this blog post, I’m working hard as unto the Lord. I know that every second here on earth matters for the believer and I want to make every minute count. That doesn’t mean I don’t have fun, it just means that I’m almost always more productive than the people I’m around and that’s okay.
In verse 21, she’s not afraid of the future, of the snow, of bad things happening, because she’s WELL prepared. This means providing all your family’s needs in abundance BEFORE they need them. Maybe that could be saving kids clothing for your kids years in advance. When my kids were younger, I would save 3-5 years in advance. Even when they got to the teenage years and were more picky about what they wanted to wear, I could still glean through my totes I saved out and then purchase at a steep discount the particular pieces they wanted.
If you’re not in any free groups or don’t know what that is, I HIGHLY encourage you to get in one. If the one in your area stinks, then MAKE one. Make a cool one. Get involved, be the Proverbs 31 woman providing for your family. There are lots of ways you can provide for your family in this time in our world for FREE. The above link will show you exactly how!
Verse 22, she makes…she sews, she stitches, she’s working hard. And she’s using fine material too. In that day and age, purple was a sign of nobility. Kings, emperors, people of the royal guard, etc. used purple because the stain/dye for the purple color was more expensive. So she’s using good stuff here. She’s figured out a way to dress herself, her family, and her home (bed) in fine materials! In order to figure that out, she’s had to work hard, be smart about things.
In verse 24, it says she makes garments and sells them. It could be that she traded for purple garments or created garments in purple for people and then used the scraps of what was left over for her own family.
However she did it, she was very entrepreneurial. Figuring out ways to use everything, make money, use her talents and learn things she could do. She had servants to help her, thus furthering her productivity and I’m sure as her children got older, they were responsible for chores also within the home in order to help with the daily routines of life.
My children did many of the household chores and it was all very streamlined. It didn’t take them a long time because it was all very consistent. You can learn all about that in my Household Binder. It’s what I used for my kids when they were home, to teach them about responsibility as well as caring for the home.
Then in Proverbs 31:27 it puts it very bluntly, all these things she was doing in ADDITION to caring for her children and keeping a clean home; she was NOT idle. She was hustling, as a way of life.
Yes, get ample sleep and rest. Yes, take vacations. Yes, get help from assistants and your children as applicable and needed. But yes, work hard! This is not a get-rich-quick scheme or retirement. She’s working hard each and every day and she’s the model for us to do as well! 😊
6) Do you work hard….willingly?
In Proverbs 13b, she works hard, but it is out of a desire to work hard.
Working hard is definitely great, but if you do it begrudgingly, you honestly might as well not do it at all, since Jesus goes by our hearts and motives.
Do you work hard willingly?
Is it your joy, the light inside your soul to work hard?
Do you work as unto the Lord, with a thankful heart?
While we definitely want to work hard, we want to work hard willingly. Not forced or out of compulsion but with a willing spirit.
If you’re working really hard but bitter about it, it’s time to take it to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help give you a heart that is happy to work hard.
7) Do you help those less fortunate than you?
In all the ministries and fruitful, biblical things that the Proverbs 31 woman has going on, she ALSO lends to the poor and needy. Verse 20 says, “she REACHES”.
She’s not just lending to the poor when they come to her or whenever someone tells her of a need they have in their life, she helps them. She does that, but this is about so much MORE!! 👈
This is about reaching out, seeking out people who are needy and helping them in kindness (Proverbs 31:26b). This is just what Jesus did when He walked the earth. He sought out those in trouble, those who needed help, and desired to save their souls. He performed miracles in order that they would believe and He helped them.
It’s not about sitting back and when a need comes before us, we say to ourselves, “Well, the poor will always be there”. Such cold-hearted fallacy that is! If you were struggling, wouldn’t you want someone to help you? Then you are literally sinning by NOT helping!! (Luke 6:31; Philippians 2:3)
As we go about our daily lives, we will of course come in contact with those in need. But taking that a step further, are we helping ministries that need help? Are we supporting those individuals that need help? Are we seeking out, reaching out, trying to serve others who have less than we do and are we teaching our children to do the same?
I’m not knocking big organizations, charities, and mega churches, donate to them, give to them, but there are people right on your street that are dying because they don’t have enough food! There are people all around us who need help and we, so often, turn a blind eye to them.
I ran this blog now for over 10 years. I served everyone and served my GUTS OUT for ALL of those years. I did it all willingly and not under compulsion but out of a desire to make people’s lives better. And while my blog has always been Christian in influence in everything I do, say, and write because that’s who I am in Christ, when the Lord asked me to go in the direction of a solely Christian site instead of teaching about how to make money or save money, I did exactly as He said.
Did the people support me?
No.
My email list of over 100,000 mostly left.
They stopped purchasing things from me.
They turned their backs on me.
It is very clear that the world does not want Jesus Christ. Because of this, now, I write this from a homeless shelter, having lost literally everything in my life, but you know what I didn’t lose?
My joy.
My faith.
My heart to serve.
So I choose homelessness instead of teaching what the people wanted from me. I teach what GOD wants me to teach, HIS Word, HIS values, HIS love to the people.
And I will do that homeless, but I will not stop obeying the Lord my God, even through being under fire (lies said about me), devastation, loss. I will continue to obey the Lord and not sell out and go back to teaching what I was teaching, that was so successful and made so much money.
I know that one day, God will honor that. He will honor me for the wholehearted commitment I show to not only Him, but to you, to faithfully continue to write, even from a homeless shelter.
And it’s not just me. There was a GREAT Pastor in Bend, Oregon, a GREAT church that was planting, a new church plant. It was very biblical and we met in a school because we were just starting out and hadn’t the funds for a building yet.
I looked for him the other day. I wanted to go back to his church to visit and he is nowhere to be found. 🙁
At the time (years ago), he told me that he couldn’t continue to preach solely, he had to get a job to support his family.
Is that God’s will?
For so many wolves in sheep’s clothing to have churches and yet this God-fearing, biblical man couldn’t be a Pastor because of lack of funds and support.
Are we REALLY seeking out and supporting those who are doing the will of God, or do we become like Nineveh, not listening to the prophet (in this case, a Pastor) God gifted us in our life, causing them to not be able to do God’s will because of our lack of support.
Again, support those godly mega-churches, but there are people who are suffering for Christ and want to serve God and can’t, because of a lack of funds. Support them.
Purchase from my shop so that I can continue serving you day in and day out. Send me an email. Support me that way. Tell me how much my work means to you, because I tell you the truth, while I am doing my part to obey God, no one seems to care.
If you care, tell me. If you care, tell whoever it is that you care about them. It’s free. It doesn’t take a lot. Take the time and tell them that their work for the ministry MATTERS, that you notice all the sacrifices they are doing for you. Tell them. Because most likely, not many are and they need to be supported, encouraged, loved on, treasured. We all need that.
Seek out those who are working for Christ, who are really trying to make a difference and support them, encourage them, love on them. That’s what the Proverbs 31 woman was doing! “She reaches out her hands to the needy”. Needy is not just financial. It’s emotional support too!!!!
8) Are you helping so many people and doing so well that the community knows your whole family?
If you are making waves in your community and helping a lot of people, people will start to want to get to know you more and your whole family. Here we have the Proverbs 31 woman doing SO well that her husband is also known.
This is not JUST because of her, obviously, He has notoriety also (as this was most likely Boaz and he was well known and well-favored by the people), but that HER ministry added to his.
What she was doing and what you do today, is a reflection of your husband, of your family.
So often, I see women who look so sweet and kind and then you look at their husband and their husband’s look like they just got out of jail! 😬 They are rough and definitely not good people.
Who WE are is a reflection of our husband and who HE is, is a reflection of us. We are judged based on both of us, especially since two become one (Mark 10:8).
If your husband is a jerk, people will automatically assume you are, and vise versa.
Here we have the story in Proverbs 31:23 that her husband is known at the gates. They are BOTH working for Christ, BOTH people of notoriety and I want to say this, to any men watching…it is OKAY that your wife have a ministry too.
I have met SO many men who get so competitive about their wives having a ministry or who can do the most for the Lord. In the beginning they like it that their wife has a ministry, but then they start to become jealous of her. I have refused to be with MANY men who have wanted to be with me because of this very thing!!! I see they are subtly jealous of my ministry for God on this blog or try to compete with me of who can do the most good works. That’s not the right heart motive at all. It’s just about working together for Christ. Who cares who does more!!! You’re on the same team, not an opposing team! Matthew 19:5
Not wanting her to have a ministry or trying to compete with her is foolish and selfish. For a godly, proper man would WANT his wife to work hard to have a ministry for Christ because it’s HER eternal rewards too, and because the gospel is spread more. She can reach different people than he can and if they both work as a team, they can literally be unstoppable. Her reaching some (maybe online), him reaching some (maybe in person), and so on.
Men, do not persuade your wife to NOT have a ministry or get jealous when she does. Do NOT try to TAKE her ministry as I again, have seen many guys who like me try to do to me. They try to take this blog from me, if you can believe! This is NOT okay. This is MY ministry, not theirs. They can create their own ministry and/or help me in this one, but I will never give this ministry over to a man. It was not designed for a man, it was created for ME. I’m the one who’s worked day and night for over 20 years, being properly trained for it.
Do not become jealous or try to take what the Lord has given HER. If she is working hard, she deserves that ministry and it is of the Lord. Let her have it, encourage her in it, and never become jealous. Remember that you two work TOGETHER for the kingdom of God and no one should try to take what belongs to the other.
In this passage, he is well-known at the gates and she is well-known in the community. They both serve and it works in unison, not apart from each other, but in perfect harmony.
9) Are you full of honor?
Your first, gut-reaction is to say, “Yes, of course, I am full of honor.”
How about when no one’s looking?
Did your answer change?
Being full of honor is something the Proverbs 31 woman is known for (vs. 25). She is full of strength (works hard) and honor. Even when no one is looking, she does the right thing.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s say you stay the night in a motel room. You absolutely LOVE their washcloths they use so you put them in your suitcase and leave.
Is this right or wrong?
The thief says, “They have plenty of washcloths. Who will notice if I take one or two. I paid for the night’s stay.”
The honorable person says, “This is wrong. It is stealing. Doesn’t matter if anyone sees or not. God sees.” And then goes on to recite the verse to themselves: Matthew 7:12.
This is a situation where what you are stealing is so small, so insignificant, but theft of any size, should never be done (Exodus 20:15).
Are you full of honor, even when it seems insignificant, even in the smallest of areas (Luke 16:10), even if no one would ever know but you and God?
The Proverbs 31 woman was full of honor, publicly AND in secret. In all ways, she clothed herself with honor, dignity, strength and we must too.
10) Are you wise?
Proverbs 31:26a talks about her opening her mouth with wisdom. In order to teach others wisdom (your children, other women, friends, a website of your own, etc.) you must be wise yourself.
Are you daily studying out the Scriptures to learn wisdom? Is it your goal to be wise? Do you pursue it?
I tell you the truth, not only do you want to be wise for your friends, your children, and so on, but think about this. You want to be wise for your husband too.
He is the obvious leader in your home, but when he is stumped, he needs encouragement, he needs his own personal cheerleader, you want to be there for him cheering him on. You want to remind him of the Scriptures, of God’s Word.
Say he shares with you he wants to give up. You can say, “Don’t give up because you think this situation won’t turn out right, look at Romans 8:28. Everything will work out for you! It’ll be okay! God promises it will be!!”
You’re able to, in one sentence, help him align his thoughts and prayers back onto the Lord, edifying and building him up. If you don’t know the Scriptures, if you are not wise, you cannot help support and be there for your husband. Wisdom is not on your tongue.
While there are many reasons to be wise, even if for just your husband, it is ample reason to seek wisdom and to gain it!
11) Do you fear the Lord?
Fearing the Lord is not so much being afraid of Him, we are Christian, He is not someone who’s out to get us, but we SHOULD have a healthy respect for Him. A reverential awe about us for Him.
I created a whole post on what the fear of the Lord is here, so I won’t belabor it today, but it is necessary for the Proverbs 31 wife (and every Christian) to have a healthy fear of the Lord!
So…what can you do TODAY to be more like her?
Things you can do RIGHT NOW to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman…
You want to be like the Proverbs 31 woman, but where do you start? Great question. Let’s break down exactly what I did on my path to become like her so you can see a real picture of someone who’s gone through the process. 😊
1 – Get organized
The first thing you absolutely have to do is to close all loose ends and time-sucks in your life. Be more streamlined and productive. Get things done quicker in a more productive way. You’re wasting a ton of time and once you get that time back, you’ll have more time for family, friends, and most importantly, serving the Lord.
In order to get organized, start off with my Household Binder. It’s what I started with to streamline my entire house. Next, I streamlined my cleaning routine (also in the Household Binder, but if you wanna go more in-depth, here’s the Cleaning Binder I used).
After that, I started streamlining all holidays. That was a major time-suck for me and I didn’t even realize it. You can get my Yearly Holidays Bundle here.
After that, start paying attention to things that are not productive in your life, specific-to-you-things and start changing them.
Maybe that’s going grocery shopping once a week instead of a couple times a week. Maybe it’s organizing your office supplies in a way that helps you be more productive or learning shortcodes like “Control + C” is copy and “Control + P” is paste. Things like that. Things that make your life go faster in a shorter amount of time.
2- Delegating and balancing
Next is learning what to delegate and what to do yourself. This is specific to your family, but for example, if a housekeeper takes 1 hour to do what takes you 6 hours to do and she charges you $20/hour, it may be worth it to you to delegate it.
Are there any household chores that you can delegate to your kids?
The next thing is balancing. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, have enough time to do the things that make YOU happy, as well as taking care of your kids, helping your husband, and having time for outside things like relatives, family, and church.
Make sure that you’re setting enough time aside for all the things you’re doing and this will help you more than anything:
It’s OKAY to be bored.
Once you start streamlining your whole life, you’ll realize how much TIME you have left over and it’s awesome. You may get bored. Don’t fill that time gap with a bunch of trivial stuff, but continue to keep it until you have your life peaceful and structured. After that, and you consistently have time left over, then start a new project, invest in kingdom work more, etc. but DO wait until you’re in a very settled place with your time.
3- Start spending more time with God
Take a little bit of that time you have left over from streamlining your life and spend it with God. This may mean being able to spend an additional 30 minutes to an hour with Him every single day. For me, I am constantly in prayer and spend a TON of time with Him and the amount of time you spend with Him will vary, depending on your responsibilities.
There’s no right or wrong answer here, just spend as much time with Him as you possibly can. Listen to the Bible being read to you on Bible Gateway, listen to sermons, read the Bible and study it. Do various studies in the Bible. You can do topical studies based on what you want to improve in your life or character studies. Study out the character you find most fascinating.
Point is, deep dive into the Word of God and spend more time drinking Living Water.
4- Take a marriage class or Bible study
After investing more in God, you want to invest in the next most important relationship here on earth for you, your marriage. Take a class, read godly books on marriage, learn more about your husband, spend time with him, invest in him.
Continuing to learn about marriage and your husband all throughout your life is vital to being a godly wife!
Spending more time with your husband is ALWAYS beneficial. Here’s some good questions to get you started getting to know him on a deeper level, for those that have been married a long time…
- Who is your favorite sibling and why?
- Who is your least favorite sibling and why?
- What was your favorite pet? What did you like most about them?
- What first attracted you to me? Why did you like me?
- What is your idea of the perfect day?
- If you didn’t have to work, how would you love to spend your day?
- What are your favorite things you like about yourself?
- What is one thing you hate about yourself and why?
- What are the top 3 things you love most about me and why?
- Describe the perfect marriage to you.
- What is your favorite book in the Bible?
- Who is your favorite character in the Bible?
- What is your favorite verse in the Bible right now?
- What’s your favorite song right now?
- What’s your favorite memory with me?
It will take some time, and that’s okay, but working on becoming the Proverbs 31 woman every day is important and once you get there, then it’s just about maintenance. Making sure you STAY like her, watching out for blind spots that trip you up. Continue to love on your husband and serve your family. This is what makes God happy, knowing you are lining your life up to His perfect and precious standard! ❤️
A woman after reading this, said, “You don’t know MY husband.”
I don’t need to.
This post is for YOU, not him. HE answers to the Lord alone and YOU answer to God as well. You both answer to God for your OWN works/actions, not each other’s actions. Before your master YOU stand or fall (Romans 14:4).
We cannot use anyone else as an excuse to not line our hearts and lives up to the Lord. This is God’s standard for YOU. And I promise you, when you stand before God (and you will; we all do), He’s NOT going to ask you how your husband did. He’s concerned with only your actions. He will talk to your husband separately and grant rewards to your husband based on his works with him. Do not be concerned about that. Concern yourself with your own actions.
This is what God expects of us and as a society as a whole, women horribly, horribly fail.
If you love God, you’ll take this seriously (John 14:15). It’s as simple as that.
